It’s never too late to change your life.
A couple of times a year, I reflect on the passing of time and the life I’m living my birthday, and the end of the year. These are natural times to evaluate the past year and also to look ahead.
Asking questions like,
How do I feel about the past year?
Do I like the direction my life is going?
What changes would I like to implement?
“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” - Carol Burnette
I’ve had many past years when in late December, I didn’t like the year that lay behind me. Mostly because I didn’t achieve the changes I wanted in my life. I had the desire to change but it illuded me.
It was disappointing to set goals each new year for myself and yet not meet them. So the following year, I would set out to obtain the same goals only to have a repeat letdown. I just didn’t know how to make the changes stick.
Last year, I gave up doing the same goal-setting methods that I had tried repeatedly year after year, as they were not working for me. Instead, I tried doing things differently and was pleasantly surprised when the things I wanted to change in my life started to shift.
I’m sharing the things that helped me slowly transform my life. Maybe, some of these things can help you carve the life you desire as well.
“Life is accepting what is and working from that.” - Gloria Naylor
Start from today
I had a realization that although I wanted change in my life, I was still focused on the past which was anchoring my thoughts to the things I no longer wanted. I needed to stop the mental loop of rehashing what once was because no amount of wishing would ever change reality.
Accepting that I could not wave a magic wand and change the reality of the past, and working from where I stood today was the first step in changing my life.
I can’t go back in time and change the first pages of my life’s story, but I can change the ending of my story.
Every time you reach back to the past you stop yourself from moving forward. Let go of your story and reach for the future.
No goals
I have spent the last 30 years creating goals, and they never seemed to stick. Yet, I continued to force myself to stay on track with the goal before finally surrendering and feeling like a failure.
I just didn’t know what to do if I wasn’t setting goals. I was under the false belief that if I didn’t set goals I would never get results in life.
Which was illogical because I had years of proof that goals didn’t work for me.
Instead of doing the same thing and expecting a different result, it was time to try something new.
I write down everything that would make the upcoming year great!
I don’t question how it will happen or plan benchmarks. I daydream, imagining the things that would make the months ahead delightful.
My daydreaming is setting my intentions, which put into motion my direction.
Keeping these thoughts of my hopeful future in mind, each day nudging my life down the path I desire.
Intentions influence my choices today which shape my reality tomorrow.
Start to daydream! Make a list of everything that would make this year GREAT! Don't question or doubt your answers. Nothing is too small or too big.
Mindset shift
To change my life, I had to change myself, which began by changing my mindset.
Each day I list the things I will let go of that no longer serve me.
By letting go of negative thinking and unhealthy patterns it allows space for new ways of thinking leading me down a new path.
Asking myself, what can I let go of today, gives my authentic spirit a chance to speak its truth without judgment.
I’m always a little surprised by what comes to mind. Many times it’s things that are holding me back from true happiness & peace. Past hurts, self-criticisms, regrets, and the idea that life ‘should’ be different than reality are all negative thoughts that tether me to suffering and prevent change.
If I want to improve my life I must first improve my thoughts.
Each day, you are only as happy, successful, and at peace as your thoughts.
Who do you want to be
Focusing on external success or milestones is putting my self-worth out of my control.
Nothing and no one outside of myself can define my value or my happiness. The power resides solely within me.
By writing the kind of person I want to be, I paint a picture of the qualities I wish to embody. If I want to be a kind, supportive person to others then I need to take action to embody those characteristics.
Money does not make generosity. Generous acts do.
Love does not make itself known. Loving acts show love.
Each day, I strive to contain the positive attributes I desire to have.
Making small, yet consistent, progress towards improving myself and therefore changing my life.
Be the person you want to become. Act as if you already embody the qualities you wish to have.
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